tumblinas.

Only words, or why how to forget the guy is really no good for you anymore.

He has been away, a stag do with the guy’s. I feigned indifference to him not being here, but secretly I was happy and looked forward to the comfortable space his absence would create. I’m  tired of running between maybe and never.

But the distance has not  kept me out of  his grasp. He sends texts that are sweet and funny complete with declarations of love and signature kisses. My lost heart remembers that feeling of home, and I can’t help it, my soul sighs and embraces the sensation, I miss him, the him I fell in love, my hearts desire, he left everyone else as blurry blank imitations of my-perfect-for-me-guy. Grief punches me hard and confuses me. He calls when I don’t return his texts, his voice a sirens song, I cut the conversation short, hang up and begin to cry.