tumblinas.

Desperate Email to Tech Support for installing a husband:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which o
perated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system.

Please note that I have tried running NagNag 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

__________________________________________________________


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and then download Tears
6.2.  Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.  If that
application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. 
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will
automatically download the Fart_and_Snore subroutine.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.0.  It contains a virus that will eventually seize control of all
your system resources and might even de-install Husband 1.0 if not
caught quickly.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend
5.0-program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 via an
infinite loop in Beer 6.1

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

(Via Email forward)