tumblinas.

I might crash into something

Carrie went a few rounds with Big before he woke up and realized she was It.  And in the mean time/in between time, there was Aidan, Berger and some other less memorable guys.  Of course that was television and this is real life.  I’m going to get on with it,(  though a small part of me wants to continue to wallow in sorrow.) I will stop running mental movies of the day I run into him and I am so cool because I am so over it.  I’m an emotional pack rat: a part of him will always be with me.  

This first part was his fault, this part where I cried in the bathroom at work, slept through my alarm because I couldn’t sleep the night before because I kept trying to pinpoint the moment where we made that wrong turn and never made it back, where I talked to my best friend again and again and again about him, where I forced myself to go on a date just for the distraction to have it end disastrously.  That was all him.  If I choose, I can keep pining, wait for the phone to ring, ignore every guy that approaches, and let my life pass by.  This part would be my fault.  I’m gonna fake it for now.  I  can’t ignore (the small part of me that doesn’t believe it is over) but I also know that I can’t keep looking back.