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Nowhere

It’s laughable.  I went to dinner with my ex tonight.  We’ve been wearing our friends’ hats for quite some time and it works for us.  I’ve moved on and I love my boyfriend.  Still, it was like being slapped in the face when I heard ‘my girlfriend’ come out of his mouth.  I think I did a good job of appearing uneffected.  Except, wanting to appear uneffected probably made me look effected.  Ay yi yi.  

What’s the deal?  And then I thought, why was it her and not me?  The crazy part is, my next thought was, I wonder if he felt like this when he first heard me talk about my boyfriend?  The thought never occurred to me then.

The ex situation isn’t so black and white after all.  

Maybe you can’t be friends with an ex.    Listening to him talk about her made me feel like I had to pretend we never were.  Like in order for us to be friends, we had to start from the end of our relationship, which is no place at all.